When We Were Very Young

When we were very young. - A. A. Milne (1924)

We used to fall asleep together on the warm floor.

We ran together outside in the sun and kept each other company during the long summer breaks.

We ran up and down the stairs and played our games together.

I’m happy we could be friends.

So here's to you old friend.

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My oldest bud, his name was Sugarbear. He came a long way from California and we grew up together from a very young age.

I was only reminded of your special name once every so often when someone would ask what your name was. But it suited you very well.

You were small, but sweet like sugar and warm like a bear. And boy, can I admit it now, I loved you to bits.

You loved people, more than your kind actually, and we took you as one of us as well. You loved sitting on my lap, and if you couldn’t, you sat right next to me. You loved warm and cozy blankets and when the sun would come through the skyline, you’d move around following the warm patches of sun. You always wanted to be with us and you were family.

Never would bite or lick and always behaved. You never went to the bathroom inside the house and on the days we left home early and came home late, you would always wait until we took you out.

You were always the first one to greet us, from the moment the car pulled into the driveway, and the last to say goodbye, following us down to the very last step. Always a good boy.

You taught me so much bud. How to love, how to be responsible, how to care for someone smaller than you.

And boy were you fast, chasing after those squirrels together and those times you tried to run away. I tried to run after you but you were so fast, I came home and cried and cried.

And like that, the days when we were very young passed by so quick.

And I grew up. I got busier, but you always stayed by my side and greeted my like you always have. You were a better friend to me than I was to you bud. I can admit now.

I got stronger and faster, you got older and,,, I don't know. I realized when I was finally able to catch up to you, outrun you, on our outdoor chases.

I didn't want to admit it, but we were growing and that meant less time with you bud.

Everytime someone asked how old you were, I hated it so much. I didn’t want to accept that you were getting older. You were always supposed to be a young pup in my heart.

I knew when your hearing had dulled and I remember thinking at night about how quiet your world suddenly became. I think I tried to ignore thefact that you were growing old, and perhaps in that fit of anger, ignored you a bit too. I’m apologizing too late.

But we still grew up. I think I forgot how we used to play, the kind of friends we were. I don't know what was so important that I just gave you a quick pat on the head when you still ran out to see me and now here I am regretting the times I’ve pushed you away.

I didn't want to admit it and I still don't want to admit that you’re gone.

Your dark grey hair got lighter and lighter, but just between us bud, you'll still be the small pup I first saw when we were very young.

But you did so good buddy. We’re all so proud of you. I’m proud to have been able to be your friend and grow up by your side. After those 15 some years I look back and see how much joy you brought to our family. There’s no home like the one where you greet me and there never will be anything like it. You were real special bud, and you’ve given us more than we could have asked for. You did so well to your last breath and you can finally rest old friend. I’m saddened that it’s already time to say our goodbyes.

You were a great friend and a brother by my side.

I look ahead to a brave new world and I look back at the last days of my teens that we spent together. One by one, the chapters of our childhood seem to be ending. How our days have gone by so fast.

So here’s to the ending of our first chapter, When we were very young. Perhaps we can meet again in our next chapter.

Sugarbear. Your name, and the sound of your tags when you ran to me still ring in my ears.

Until we can meet again, I hope to travel back to our times together.

Thanks for everything Sugarbear, we’ll miss you bud.

I love you so much.

Your old friend and brother

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To everyone who loved and cared of Sugarbear, thank you so much. I’m confident that he brought just as much joy to all of you. He is the bestest boy out there and he’ll forever be in our hearts. Like a warm summer memory, I’ll always be able to look back to him and think of our childhood. To the days when we were very young.

2004-2020